It’s been years since we last saw each other and the news of your marriage rattled my cage none the less. You have been a still picture in my thoughts since we parted ways. A reminder of hope, love, passion and ultimately pain. Shit, shit, shit, what’s happening here? All kinds of emotions are running through me. In that moment I realized that I still held on to the possibility of your return. The feelings surfaced like a submarine coming up from the bottom of the ocean. I was angry, sad and confused. I knew for sure it was over. Finally OVER! You must be thinking, shit it’s been over for years, and I would agree with you. However, my subconscious had other plans.
So what now? Do I congratulate you? NO! Do I send you a gift? NO! What is this crazy need to do or say something? I know it’s the ego trying to rewrite the ending. Funny, how that works. The truth is I am happy for you. I wish you the very best. Truly I do. I know it sounds crazy, but when you truly love someone you always want the very best for them. I have always said that love sometimes means letting go. This is me finally letting go.
“I wake up every day hoping, even praying, that today is the day I get to be free. Free from the memory of your kiss, free from the sensation of your touch, free from the words spoken from your lips. I wake up everyday hopeful that this is the day. That day is today.”
*As published in the Huffington Post