Speaking without words. You must be wondering what that means? Let me explain. We spend most of the time listening or pretending to listen to the people around us, when in reality we are a million miles away from the present. We are thinking of the to do list that never goes way. You know what I am talking about. We are all guilty of this and that is where the unspoken words come into play. Ever notice that when you are speaking to someone at some point they drift away to a place only they where invited. For some it is very subtle; for others it is as clear as day. This has happened to me a few times which has prompted me to blog about it.
One day I was having a conversation with a friend. I was telling this person about my present situation for they had asked what was going on in my life. Much to my surprise, as I was telling my story I noticed the disconnect. I had just entered an unspoken dialog with this person. I kept telling my story while at the same time being fully present with the second conversation we were having. I could not help but wonder what prompted them to ask me about my life and then be so disengaged in the response.
This was my interpretation / perception of the unspoken conversation. Friend: (I truly didn’t want to hear all this I was just trying to be polite. I don’t like hearing about other people’s issues or life challenges. Why doesn’t she just stop talking? This is so not where I want to be right now. Why did I even stop and ask her)? I think you all get the idea. Now I am not one to take things personal so I played with it. I just kept talking and watched my good friend drift further and further away. I paused and smiled, noticing that they have a knee jerk reaction when I stopped speaking. They got red faced and nervously smiled back.
As a coach a bunch of questions started coming to me but I never asked my friend any of them. I took that moment to learn from it. What did I learn you might ask?
• I learned that when I took it as a learning moment it was hard to take it personal.
• I learned that I find it amusing when I don’t let EGO take over.
• The best part was that I am just not that important. I don’t mean that in a bad way either. Just that we tend to think the world revolves around us.
It was by far the best unspoken conversation I have ever had. So in this blog I want to thank all those who have had those types of conversations with me and as soon as I can get the language down I will speak back 🙂