What a crazy road I am on. I figured I would blog about it so that I can get a different perspective on it. I have heard a lot about transition and what not but nothing can come close to truly experiencing it first hand. Years ago I started down a road of self employment. I have done Multi Level Marketing, opened up a tradition store front and each time meeting failure at the end of the rainbow. Still I cannot bring myself to get a JOB! I know that dreams can come true. I have seen it within other, so I know it’s there for me to grab. This venture has led me to the loss of my home and owing money to family and friends. The debt level is far greater than I could manage. Here I thought I was on the road to living my dream. Instead I am in the middle of losing my house, one of my fur babies died and broke with no direction. I find myself reflecting on what the hell am I doing? Most people would quit and go back to the false dream of a job, but I just cannot. Wanting it bad enough has never been the issue and working hard to see the fruits of my labor is not a scary thing either. What I don’t understand is being diligent and still getting nowhere. Sure, lessons have been learned. Sure, I have met some great folks and truly figured out who my true friends really are. However at 44 somewhat homeless and broke, I have got to pause and wonder why am I here yet again? Is it truly that hard to dream? Is it truly that conditioned that I have to swim against the current all the time? Faith has been a great factor for me and at the same time has been by biggest downfall. I trusted in the gods/goddess for a direction. Each time feeling alone and unheard. So I travel on, no matter the despair in hope, that I will find the landing spot made just for me. I can’t stop dreaming of a thriving Coaching Practice, Soul Intentions being a household name and just simply sharing a world with kind people. I don’t ask for much so I think but in my experience, since I started it seems like one tall order.