Now that I am settled and back in my own space, time to tell you about that story I promised. Those of you who know me, know that for the past year or so I have experienced a great deal of loss. I am not going to go into detail about all that but sure enough these losses and the wife’s health not being great led me into a place I was a stranger to. I am usually optimistic but so much has gone on in such a short period of time leaving me with an abundance of questions and at times, doubt. Despite all of this, I diligently continue my inward work to heal. I wanted to heal from the inside out because my heart is in great need of repair. To look at me no one outside of what I call my secret keeper, knew the true pain my heart has been struggling with. So the story begins. This past week I had the pleasure of house and pet sitting in the most beautiful, quiet place and I took full advantage. It was right smack in the middle of what seemed to be nowhere with overwhelming silence and minimal distraction. Time to do some work. Through out the week I took moments to sit still, listen and bend. Last night was a stormy one and boy do I love storms. I took some time to be in the energy of the storm then I went to bed. At 1:22 am I was awakened my a big rumble and feeling the house shake! I thought for sure it was an earthquake! So I jumped out of bed like some sort of superhero to make sure all was well in the house and with the cats when I realized it was just thunder. The storm was in full swing. I was on my way back to bed when I heard a voice say, “You need to sit outside.” Pause, as I look around as if I am really going to see someone. I am no stranger to random voices calling about but was this voice not aware that I wasn’t in Chicopee but in the woods in Leverett where it’s super dark and did I mention stormy?! I took a breath and went outside. Within seconds I was soaked but the lightning show was amazing. Where should I sit? I wondered as I looked into the darkness. I can honestly say for the first time in my life I knew what fear felt like. But that’s a whole other story. Sorry, I digress. I thought sitting on metal chairs not a good idea with this storm going on, so I sat on the very wet grass which was amazingly soft. I got into a meditative position because as I said earlier I was very scared to be out there in the dark. Quickly, I went deep into a meditative state. What I experience was amazing. However, the details are very personal. Let’s just say a whole lot of healing took place. Shortly after that I felt myself coming back to consciousness and yes the storm is still going strong. I remember saying to myself, I should really open my eyes now. So I did. Never did I expect to see or experience what came next. As I opened my eyes I started to get that feeling, you know the one where you are being watched. Indeed, I was being watched. By three deer. I sat really still just trusting in whatever was to come next. I closed my eyes once again but not before noticing other eyes in the distance. Eyes closed now, I took a deep breath and just sat as still as I could. These deer came so close to me that I could feel their breath on my cheek. Crying was the only appropriate emotion. For the first time in over a year I was finally at peace. My heart was no longer hurting. This was all very foreign to me. I sat in the presence of these magical creatures taking in their medicine for what felt like hours. After a while I finally felt it was time to open my eyes again and there were no deer in sight. I wanted to call out come back old friends but all the healing was done.
The universe is a vibrant magical place and I tend to dwell in the in between space where nothing and everything live. Today I was healed, loved, honored and respected and most of all reminded of my divine birth right to be alive, at peace.
Deer Spirit Symbols:
Gentleness, Kindness, Compassion, Innocence, Motherhood, Grace, Femininity, Swiftness, Peace, Subtlety, Adventure, Psychic Power, Awareness, Renewal, Acceptance, Connection to Spirit
Ask yourself important questions. Are you trying to force things? Are others? Are you being too critical and uncaring of yourself? When deer appear they are symbols of an opportunity to express gentle love that will open new doors to adventure for you. Use methods other than force to achieve goals, be led to adventure or spiritual knowledge. Accept others for who they are and don’t try to change them. If you’ve seen a Stag totem this power animal will guide you to strength and a renewal of your energies